the tempest

this frog is bedraggled.
emotionally beat-up,
ideologically battered.

time to jump ship,
into the open sea,
deep down to the sea bottom,
deep into me.

quietly drunk

jumping on the bandwagon, i just had to put this up... sounds like someone, eh?

What Type of Drunk Are You?
	You are a Quiet Drunk. You may like to drink, but drinking doesn't like you. A couple of drinks and you'll end up in the corner of the room, awkwardly watching evertone else have a good time.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

for those trampled under the feet of big-wig wannabes

this song never fails to inspire me and take the bitter taste out of my mouth.

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some

and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said

both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a pheonix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back

I'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said

- 32 flavors, ani difranco

self-discovery

us humans. we can't really live without companionship, can we? be it friends or enemies. we need people around us to fuel our emotions. without that, we're just empty shells, fossilised turtles (here's thinking of u mona - u make me associate everything with turtles!).

i've found out that i love sharing experiences with people. with just one common experience and you feel linked, even with people whom you've never met before. a common love of a place, a common emotional response to a situation (occupational hazard - normal response to an abnormal situation anyone?), the feeling of being persecuted. we all are connected somehow, and for that, the world just seems so big and yet so small at the same time.

on my mind's broadcast - can you feel it?

It started as a joke
Just one of my lucks to see
If somehow I could reach you
So I swam onto your shores
Through an open window
Only to find you all alone
Curled up with machines
Now it seems you're slipping
Out to the land of the ravine

Just take a closer look
Take a closer look
At what it is that's really haunting you
I hear to trust you
Not this digital ghost
Look I fear there's only so much time
Cause the you I knew is fading away

Hands
Lay them on my keys
Let me play you again
I am not immune to you
And find me there and yet
I won't go even if he
Your heart only beats once
And switch you on my friend
Pull you from that wreckage
But only you can fight against these

Take a closer look
Just take a closer look
At what it is that's really haunting you
I hear to trust you
Not this digital ghost
Well I fear there's only so much time
Cause the you I knew is fading away
Fading
Fading
Fading away

- Digital Ghost by Tori Amos

time for a break

*the frog has decided to take a short break for a bit of pondering*

many people are afraid of death, or rather, afraid of there not being an afterlife. no heaven. no hell. just nothingness. i started thinking about that and the first thing that came to me was, what's wrong with that? life has never really held much for me. i don't hate it, but neither do i embrace it. i've since come to the realisation that nothing lasts forever, and if things can end here, now, what makes us think that it will re-start itself once we die?

the pain we feel for loved ones lost dims over time. innocence once taken away can't ever be returned. friendships betrayed will never be the same. how can one look forward to an afterlife like that?

so, the question is, does it matter? does anything we do now really matter? shouldn't we love as much as we can, laugh as much as we can, and yes, cry, shout, hate, bitch, yell, as much as we can now?

maybe i'm cynical, but this is the me that i know, the me that i love. and i may not be filled with sunshine and love, perhaps more darkness than light, but i will try to feel as much as i can, and be true to what i am.

this shall be my path. my way. my direction. until the day i walk off the end of the road, into a raging river of tears.

close the blinds and leave me alone!

the frog has returned from its hibernation, and is back to greet her adoring fans with a scowly face and a cussing tongue. give me back my sleep, i say, give me back my sleep.

but the wondrous frog had not been slacking in her time of beauty (you know, sleep and beauty.. duh?!) much has been done in her absence. A new well had been secured. both metaphorically, as well as physically. you should know what i mean, if you don't, then shame on you.

so what has this gorgeous being been up to, other then metaphysically conjuring up new wells? hmmm. to cut a long story short, here's a nursery rhyme which you may find familiar:

this little froggy went to the market, this little froggy went to town. this little froggy went to find herself, and then came home looking like hell.

garr. this little froggy needs a lot of bubbly.

this little froggy has been saving lives (that is what the hospital said about blood donation anyway).

and horrors of horrors, this little froggy actually found some meaning in life helping people.


croak for the day: bubbly makes all the pain go away.(little kiddies need to check with their mommies before attempting this procedure)