quietly drunk

jumping on the bandwagon, i just had to put this up... sounds like someone, eh?

What Type of Drunk Are You?
	You are a Quiet Drunk. You may like to drink, but drinking doesn't like you. A couple of drinks and you'll end up in the corner of the room, awkwardly watching evertone else have a good time.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

for those trampled under the feet of big-wig wannabes

this song never fails to inspire me and take the bitter taste out of my mouth.

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some

and I'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said

both my parents taught me about good will
and I have done well by their names
just the kindness I've lavished on strangers
is more than I can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so I would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
til I'd passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a pheonix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying back

I'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that I'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
no, I will never be a saint
but I will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said

- 32 flavors, ani difranco

self-discovery

us humans. we can't really live without companionship, can we? be it friends or enemies. we need people around us to fuel our emotions. without that, we're just empty shells, fossilised turtles (here's thinking of u mona - u make me associate everything with turtles!).

i've found out that i love sharing experiences with people. with just one common experience and you feel linked, even with people whom you've never met before. a common love of a place, a common emotional response to a situation (occupational hazard - normal response to an abnormal situation anyone?), the feeling of being persecuted. we all are connected somehow, and for that, the world just seems so big and yet so small at the same time.

on my mind's broadcast - can you feel it?

It started as a joke
Just one of my lucks to see
If somehow I could reach you
So I swam onto your shores
Through an open window
Only to find you all alone
Curled up with machines
Now it seems you're slipping
Out to the land of the ravine

Just take a closer look
Take a closer look
At what it is that's really haunting you
I hear to trust you
Not this digital ghost
Look I fear there's only so much time
Cause the you I knew is fading away

Hands
Lay them on my keys
Let me play you again
I am not immune to you
And find me there and yet
I won't go even if he
Your heart only beats once
And switch you on my friend
Pull you from that wreckage
But only you can fight against these

Take a closer look
Just take a closer look
At what it is that's really haunting you
I hear to trust you
Not this digital ghost
Well I fear there's only so much time
Cause the you I knew is fading away
Fading
Fading
Fading away

- Digital Ghost by Tori Amos

time for a break

*the frog has decided to take a short break for a bit of pondering*

many people are afraid of death, or rather, afraid of there not being an afterlife. no heaven. no hell. just nothingness. i started thinking about that and the first thing that came to me was, what's wrong with that? life has never really held much for me. i don't hate it, but neither do i embrace it. i've since come to the realisation that nothing lasts forever, and if things can end here, now, what makes us think that it will re-start itself once we die?

the pain we feel for loved ones lost dims over time. innocence once taken away can't ever be returned. friendships betrayed will never be the same. how can one look forward to an afterlife like that?

so, the question is, does it matter? does anything we do now really matter? shouldn't we love as much as we can, laugh as much as we can, and yes, cry, shout, hate, bitch, yell, as much as we can now?

maybe i'm cynical, but this is the me that i know, the me that i love. and i may not be filled with sunshine and love, perhaps more darkness than light, but i will try to feel as much as i can, and be true to what i am.

this shall be my path. my way. my direction. until the day i walk off the end of the road, into a raging river of tears.

close the blinds and leave me alone!

the frog has returned from its hibernation, and is back to greet her adoring fans with a scowly face and a cussing tongue. give me back my sleep, i say, give me back my sleep.

but the wondrous frog had not been slacking in her time of beauty (you know, sleep and beauty.. duh?!) much has been done in her absence. A new well had been secured. both metaphorically, as well as physically. you should know what i mean, if you don't, then shame on you.

so what has this gorgeous being been up to, other then metaphysically conjuring up new wells? hmmm. to cut a long story short, here's a nursery rhyme which you may find familiar:

this little froggy went to the market, this little froggy went to town. this little froggy went to find herself, and then came home looking like hell.

garr. this little froggy needs a lot of bubbly.

this little froggy has been saving lives (that is what the hospital said about blood donation anyway).

and horrors of horrors, this little froggy actually found some meaning in life helping people.


croak for the day: bubbly makes all the pain go away.(little kiddies need to check with their mommies before attempting this procedure)

possible new well?

the frog (that is me) went to check out a new well yesterday. Unlike the well this top frog is in right now (which is getting a tad too slimy for my liking - time to move!)it was ... interesting. it was exciting, it was hectic, it was amazing, and for once, the frog is seriously worried if she would be able to upkeep the place. but of course, this frog ain't gonna admit defeat! when faced with adversity, she will prevail (as always - strong hind legs are good for hopping over obstacles you know).

But of course, this frog is still keeping her eyes out for even better wells. Wish her luck (oh heck it, GIMME your luck!! MUHAHA! )

croak of the day : if you are to hop over the stone, you must calculate the projectile properly

profound entity

Today has been a slow, slow day, and i have had some time to think on life, and more importantly, on how wonderful a creature i am. i know, i know, i am not doing myself any justice by understating just how incredible i really am, but a frog must be humble right?

however, in order that all get to share in the greatness that is me, i have decided that i shall dole out my wisdom to the masses, as often as possible (which is really to say, at my whim and fancy).

so let's start today off with this little ribbit:

"do not blow bubbles in the water if you do not want bubbly water"

and so the frog speaks.

Happy New Year to all! (yes, so what if this is 2 days late? did you expect me to be at home typing away at the computer when the rest of the world is counting down to the new year?... puh-leese. )

If you knew me, you would know that i do not believe in making resolutions. After all, what is the point of them when you know its just gonna make your life miserable? so, be surprised for this year, i have decided to make a concession and finally commit myself to a RESOLUTION, and that is: I'm going to make extra effort to keep in contact with my friends here where i work - gals, you know who u are, so don't you run and hide! after all, i've got one set of powerful hind legs that are not just good for hopping you know... heh

why this resolution?, one may ask (well, i know none of you really care, but hey, its not about what YOU think, cuz this is all about me, and its always been and always will be, about me, me, me and me. there can never be enough mes, if u ask me -- gah! whats with the mes anyway?)

uh-hm. to get back to the subject. i had never felt the need to keep in touch with friends. after all, you meet different people along the way, and how is one frog supposed to keep up with all the multitudes of adoring fans thronging about ones' person from all 26 years of one's life? you just had to let some go. unfortunately, my webbed feet and hands have been filled with holes and i've let them all slip by. but not this time! this frog has realised that she has finally found kindred spirits - be they turtle, monkey, sheep or bunny spirits- that should not be exorcised. so... besides, this frog expects and hopes fervently that she'll be hopping to a new well soon, and re-establishing herself as the top frog can be a tiring business, so having a loyal fan base to fall back on would be a great relief, and a breath of fresh air.

so be glad, all you species of animals, for you now have the gaze of the frog upon you.