time for a break

*the frog has decided to take a short break for a bit of pondering*

many people are afraid of death, or rather, afraid of there not being an afterlife. no heaven. no hell. just nothingness. i started thinking about that and the first thing that came to me was, what's wrong with that? life has never really held much for me. i don't hate it, but neither do i embrace it. i've since come to the realisation that nothing lasts forever, and if things can end here, now, what makes us think that it will re-start itself once we die?

the pain we feel for loved ones lost dims over time. innocence once taken away can't ever be returned. friendships betrayed will never be the same. how can one look forward to an afterlife like that?

so, the question is, does it matter? does anything we do now really matter? shouldn't we love as much as we can, laugh as much as we can, and yes, cry, shout, hate, bitch, yell, as much as we can now?

maybe i'm cynical, but this is the me that i know, the me that i love. and i may not be filled with sunshine and love, perhaps more darkness than light, but i will try to feel as much as i can, and be true to what i am.

this shall be my path. my way. my direction. until the day i walk off the end of the road, into a raging river of tears.